My Son Johnny

Johnny was a boy who LOVED to ride. If it moved, he was on it! This included bmx bikes, dirt bikes, street bikes, skateboards, his grandfathers John Deere tractor and of course his first truck at sixteen. Everything Johnny did was- FULL SPEED AHEAD!! As a mother I was usually pretty calm about all of this because Johnny had a good head on his shoulders and because he was just very good at everything he set out to do.

I can't begin to tell you how his life started to change, but it did. Me, I could see the writing on the wall. You see Johnny's father was an alcoholic. It was the drinking that ended our marriage and left me to raise two children alone. Johnny watched the drinking and the fighting. I had hoped that my children after seeing the life we lived and the cause would aspire to "not wanting that life". But, it was the opposite, both of my children struggled and fell. My daughter was lucky as she was able to put the drugs down. She went on to marry and raise four beautiful children. Johnny was not so lucky. HE FELL INTO HELL!! And I do mean that.

Every single person in our family has been affected by Johnny's addiction. He became somebody that we did not know. Gone was the smiling, kind & carrying person. In our face was a lying, moody out of control person. The terrible mood swings and the crying as he is trying like hell to stop the madness that tore us all apart. With all his good intentions - his battle always failed.

Failing for Johnny was NOT something he was used to. He knew this alcohol thing was way bigger then anything he had ever dealt with before.

After some tough love (which was very hard on me) I convinced him that rehab could help. Like every parent who has gone through this I had hoped to God above that this would help him. It didn't work and my heart was crushed.

After Johnny came home one day after riding home from Stockton on his Ninja he came into my room and said, "mom something is wrong". He told me he could barely put down the kick stand and said to me "I need to go to the hospital". The next thing I knew I was watching him have a grand maul seizure in which he just pooled over and started thrashing, legs banging against my mirrored closet door and me calling an ambulance. It was the last straw. After he recovered I told Johnny that I would NOT watch him die. He would have to move into his truck and when they repossessed that then he'd be out in the street. I told him I didn't want anything more to do with "Johnny the drunk". Told him to call me ONLY if he was sober. This time he KNEW that I meant it!!!

The second time rehab worked. Somehow the program got through to him. I'm sure it was because this time he listened and learned the tools he needed. I will always be thankful to Campobello for teaching him to NEVER WAKE UP THE SLEEPING TIGER INSIDE! I know this sounds crazy but for Johnny it worked. Johnny knows, inside the tiger sleeps and while it does it is Johnny in control. ONE DRINK and the tiger wakes and the control issue is OVER!!!!!!

I can say I am very proud of Johnny. When I see him talk to children about his problem & his triumph it fills me with joy. I do believe - education with the young is very much needed. I think if Johnny can help with just changing one child's life it will be such a good thing.

Johnny has a thing about him that just connects with these kids. He ALWAYS has time for them whether we're filling up for gas or in a parking lot going to a store, kids & grown ups flock around him. I laugh because he is like a pied piper, Johnny & his Avalanche can definitely draw a crowd. He loves to go to the skate park & talk to the kids. I think with time Johnny's message will help many. And, not just the kids. At AA /NA meetings many have come up to him and are so glad to see someone come back FULL SPEED AHEAD!!